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kelly_sheftic

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 4:28pm) | Search for a member

kelly_sheftic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 409
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kelly_sheftic : I'm fucking weird

kelly_sheftic's page activity

Visits<b>Qualdog12</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 9:25pm<b>chamay</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:04pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 2:47pm<b>LukeE45</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 11:41pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:29pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 9:12am<b>pocketemo1997</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 12:37am<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 5:43am<b>ltaper11</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:39am<b>ilovecuddling</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:48pm<b>olpally</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:21pm<b>AlexanderBadLuck</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:18pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:00pm<b>yadanax</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 9:52am

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kelly_sheftic's badges

kelly_sheftic's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45861) - you deserved it (5300)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43057) - you deserved it (6214)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (35775)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52497) - you deserved it (7652)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (4772)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31504) - you deserved it (10610)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48720) - you deserved it (6371)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43890) - you deserved it (13890)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56116) - you deserved it (9309)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56353) - you deserved it (6675)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45809) - you deserved it (8984)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43386) - you deserved it (14350)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50430) - you deserved it (4171)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49781) - you deserved it (5733)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49484) - you deserved it (4953)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)



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