Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kellster

Search for a member

kellster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 154580
  • Number of comments : 1022
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kellster's page activity

Visits<b>FunnyDude1215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:56am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Elidorranos</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:30pm<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:49am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:31am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:06am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:27am<b>RarityRoyale</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:34pm<b>TicciTobyRodgers</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 10:41am<b>smc3106</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:30pm<b>BeavisButthead</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 7:39pm<b>alexloz_au</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 9:58pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 8:05am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 4:42pm<b>JMEL2012</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 2:58am<b>Miistinguette</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 5:41am<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 12:12am<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:57am

kellster's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

kellster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59239) - you deserved it (15272)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

#4483949
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (3791)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by ForeverEmbarrassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML

#4210609
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (20945)

On 08/01/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by smoochie -

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

#3949208
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37310) - you deserved it (10261)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (59847)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15657) - you deserved it (49960)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73042) - you deserved it (5399)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57391) - you deserved it (19972)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (79719)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

#969770
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56983) - you deserved it (13029)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by chriss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (129645)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (47742)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55362) - you deserved it (4273)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17955) - you deserved it (49035)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: