hi, im kellllie :) 15, turning 16 in a few months
idk, there isnt really much you need to knoooww
uh, myspace? myspace.com/kellie_says
kcooooool
(:
Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML
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On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
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On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML
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On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
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On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
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On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML
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On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
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On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
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On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
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On 05/05/2009 at 3:43am - love - by sunboy52 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
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On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was masturbating to a video a friend sent me. The girls were hot, walking out on a stage doing all sorts of sexy manuevers. The video was close to ending and the announcer in the video announced the winner. His name was Dan. It was a drag competition. My friend knew I'd whack off to it. FML
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On 04/18/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by Masterbater (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then proceeded to walk into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poke his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML
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On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole. I got it." in plain english. FML
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On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my elderly great-great aunt sitting on her recliner in the living room. There was porn on the TV. Thinking that this was an accidental channel change, I asked, "What in the world are you watching!?" She replied in her sweet frail voice, "Two lesbians getting it on!" FML
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On 03/19/2009 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
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On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
