kelliejellie

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kelliejellie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1179
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kelliejellie : im kellie :)

kelliejellie's page activity

Visits<b>captainwhiskers</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:34am<b>refticon</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 6:52am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:44am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:23pm<b>reklawelyk</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:12am<b>Siehnados</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 3:32am<b>itsmemario32</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:00am<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:54pm<b>kendallm505050</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:25am<b>Mario535</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:36pm<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:43pm<b>Rstein14</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:25am<b>thelaughingcat</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:47pm<b>emmmmmyyyyy</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 12:33am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:23am<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:02pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:49pm

kelliejellie's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

kelliejellie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

by jules / 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

by katem / 04/16/2009 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

by katem / 04/16/2009 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

by no_leather_of_any_kind / 04/07/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

by Sarah / 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

by frenchy / 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

by Noname / 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

by MichiganExile / 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous