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About kelliejellie : im kellie :)
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4726) - you deserved it (14077)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9869) - you deserved it (19341)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (2321)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (2521)
On 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm - work - by number2 - United States
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (1598)
On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4332) - you deserved it (5262)
On 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm - work - by Kate - United States
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13024) - you deserved it (6823)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15501) - you deserved it (1995)
On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9431) - you deserved it (42047)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13105) - you deserved it (29656)
On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41546) - you deserved it (4002)
On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29672) - you deserved it (7646)
On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37174) - you deserved it (4565)
On 05/26/2011 at 12:15am - intimacy - by blahblah493 - United States
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11244) - you deserved it (31240)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3715) - you deserved it (34948)
On 02/05/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by goldenshower (woman) - United States (Texas)
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