kelliejellie

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kelliejellie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1311
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kelliejellie : im kellie :)

kelliejellie's page activity

Visits<b>camoMS</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 7:09pm<b>captainwhiskers</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:34am<b>refticon</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 6:52am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:44am<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:23pm<b>reklawelyk</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:12am<b>Siehnados</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 3:32am<b>itsmemario32</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:00am<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:54pm<b>kendallm505050</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:25am<b>Mario535</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:36pm<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:43pm<b>Rstein14</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:25am<b>thelaughingcat</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:47pm<b>emmmmmyyyyy</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 12:33am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:23am<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:02pm

kelliejellie's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

kelliejellie's favorite FMLs

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

by number2 / 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Work

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

by blarp / 10/17/2011 at 12:20am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

by Kate / 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm / United States / Work

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

by couldntholdit / 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

by Snurkles / 07/07/2011 at 8:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

by / 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm / United States / Health

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

by Brie / 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Animals

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

by blahblah493 / 05/26/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

by Cassie / 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm / Animals

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

by goldenshower / 02/05/2010 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous