tehehe :]
Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17513) - you totally deserved it (24025)
On 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34588) - you totally deserved it (2654)
On 09/03/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by LosTits (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17320) - you totally deserved it (29302)
On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you totally deserved it (4482)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you totally deserved it (5505)
On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you totally deserved it (6845)
On 08/25/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by 2yearsofHotSexThenThis (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17173) - you totally deserved it (45100)
On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8017) - you totally deserved it (97170)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7775) - you totally deserved it (46508)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you totally deserved it (7168)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33292) - you totally deserved it (7602)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45539) - you totally deserved it (3952)
On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - misc - by graduate - United States (New Jersey)
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47583) - you totally deserved it (2365)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45589) - you totally deserved it (2832)
On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46369) - you totally deserved it (16910)
On 06/03/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by galen (man) - United States (Texas)
