keke

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keke

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 50742
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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keke's page activity

Visits<b>shotgunrem</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:51pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:26pm<b>helllno</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:01am<b>needmoreunicorn</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:20am<b>ryan1268</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:20pm<b>JellyJace</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:55pm<b>finiclepie</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:34pm<b>trose128</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:21pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:56am<b>jofukurself</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Brino21395</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:50pm<b>amyx3_</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 5:09pm<b>HighLlama</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:12am<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:20am<b>tellyc</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:34am<b>mehidontknow</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:23am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:20pm

keke's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

keke's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

by C0olgirl / 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

by healey16 / 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

by Alex / 03/26/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

by ThanksMa / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML

by churchgoer / 03/19/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

by Noname / 03/18/2009 at 11:48am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

by myennechee / 03/18/2009 at 1:22am / Germany (Hamburg) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

by myennechee / 03/18/2009 at 1:22am / Germany (Hamburg) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my job in the Dean of Students office. My boss gave me some papers to copy. As I was copying, I read in a report that my boyfriend was written up for "cohabitation" (having a girl stay over) at my Catholic university. The report was from a weekend I wasn't at school. FML

by germx / 03/18/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML

by SmileEveryday / 03/17/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML

by PinkTornado / 03/17/2009 at 10:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Love