keke

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keke

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 50879
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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keke's page activity

Visits<b>shotgunrem</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:51pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:26pm<b>helllno</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:01am<b>needmoreunicorn</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:20am<b>ryan1268</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:20pm<b>JellyJace</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:55pm<b>finiclepie</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:34pm<b>trose128</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:21pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:56am<b>jofukurself</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Brino21395</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:50pm<b>amyx3_</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 5:09pm<b>HighLlama</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:12am<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:20am<b>tellyc</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:34am<b>mehidontknow</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:23am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:20pm

keke's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

keke's favorite FMLs

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

by plasticfantastic / 04/25/2009 at 8:18am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

by anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her "that guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, thats my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said "EW." FML

by uglyswimmer / 04/22/2009 at 9:58pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

by TMI / 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

by scarletdurose88 / 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

by Kelavmeister / 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

by I_Hate_Cars / 04/15/2009 at 10:10am / United States (South Carolina) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 10:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

by Aprilfools / 04/12/2009 at 6:47am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

by atang / 04/09/2009 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous