keke

Search for a member

keke

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 50260
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

keke's page activity

Visits<b>shotgunrem</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:51pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:26pm<b>helllno</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:01am<b>needmoreunicorn</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:20am<b>ryan1268</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:20pm<b>JellyJace</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:55pm<b>finiclepie</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:34pm<b>trose128</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:21pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:56am<b>jofukurself</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Brino21395</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:50pm<b>amyx3_</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 5:09pm<b>HighLlama</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:12am<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:20am<b>tellyc</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:34am<b>mehidontknow</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:23am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:20pm

keke's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

keke's favorite FMLs

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

by worsethanzombies / 11/23/2009 at 11:40am / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

by auscop / 09/17/2009 at 6:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML

by person / 06/10/2009 at 7:03am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I had a 3rd date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

by shescomfortablynumb / 06/05/2009 at 3:49am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

by thesitter / 05/10/2009 at 9:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

by gimp. / 05/08/2009 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML

by fuckerman / 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

by liveforpeace_ / 04/28/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML

by ewwww / 04/27/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

by apparentlyugly / 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek