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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 882
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About keitorinm : I <3 music!
Especially house xD
I'm usually on Fmylife when I should be paying attention in math xD
And remember:
If the world gives you lemons, make orange juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it ;)

Feel free to message me ^.^

keitorinm's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

keitorinm's favorite FMLs

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 7:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

by G. Briones / 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm / Kids

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

by halloweed / 11/16/2011 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

by ab / 10/09/2011 at 1:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

by rufusthepenis / 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy