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keitorinm

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keitorinm

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 592
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About keitorinm : I <3 music!
Especially house xD
I'm usually on Fmylife when I should be paying attention in math xD
And remember:
If the world gives you lemons, make orange juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it ;)

Feel free to message me ^.^

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

keitorinm's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14410) - you deserved it (49980)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (29129)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26393) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (4288)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29612) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9258) - you deserved it (30626)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8999) - you deserved it (34670)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14223) - you deserved it (43892)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17092) - you deserved it (50267)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (4065) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

#18533505
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29226) - you deserved it (8913)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12996) - you deserved it (41236)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States



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