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keeper1232

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keeper1232

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keeper1232's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55771) - you deserved it (12461)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41441) - you deserved it (3584)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39943) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

#20577290
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56901) - you deserved it (5172)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49941) - you deserved it (4715)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33723) - you deserved it (5503)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36014) - you deserved it (1639)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

#3830576
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (87535)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228785) - you deserved it (80529)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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