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keekeehayes

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keekeehayes

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 100
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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keekeehayes's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38303) - you deserved it (18135)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52545) - you deserved it (11879)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (10808)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40222) - you deserved it (9578)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32476) - you deserved it (2753)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35248) - you deserved it (13807)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34003) - you deserved it (9172)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (4707)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (3920)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36274) - you deserved it (3400)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47343) - you deserved it (14027)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)



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