Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kee_breezy32

Search for a member

kee_breezy32
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 636
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About kee_breezy32 : I just love reading people's tragic stories :O

kee_breezy32's last visitors

the1pumpCHUMPMisterCrossleachnoah1TallyFtw69DodopylexypaigeiHiccupBSitzdjtotallybananasniatrossbutthole321

kee_breezy32's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kee_breezy32's badges

kee_breezy32's favorite FMLs

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44389) - you deserved it (6055)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

#21081494
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (5518)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm - misc - by shoopbadeewoop (man) -

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, my mum begged me to let her put fake nails on me to practice for her styling exam. I've been sitting on the toilet for the past half an hour trying to figure out how to wipe without damaging something. FML

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (3961)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50227) - you deserved it (12047)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34073) - you deserved it (13142)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46273) - you deserved it (4822)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38310) - you deserved it (8501)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46026) - you deserved it (3007)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (6943)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

#21067848
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35596) - you deserved it (4011)

On 02/21/2014 at 7:20pm - work - by ashamedklutz (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

#21067749
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33896) - you deserved it (15388)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by Cuntface McGee (man) - Romania (Cluj)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: