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kecke

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kecke

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  • Number of visits : 207
  • Number of comments : 1
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kecke's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46066) - you deserved it (2986)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43520) - you deserved it (2876)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59144) - you deserved it (5795)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50393) - you deserved it (8713)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71156) - you deserved it (5053)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88791) - you deserved it (5628)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73535) - you deserved it (6547)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (9969)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (2399)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (1534)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (3514)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (3163)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (10197)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States



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