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Today, I e-maild the on-line instructor for mah job, telling her that I had fallen behind in mah work due to mah grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope yur grandmother gets better soon." FML
today I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onion 4 his dish he warned us to be ready 4 the ( typical reactions ). Everyone teared up. Meanwhile I popped a boner. So much 4 typical. FML
Today, I was at a barbeque with mah family, mah boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly calld mah boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replid, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. big fat FML
Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, an to start cutting them off . A fellow bar maid askd how we are supposd to tell when it's time . He pointd at me an said, ( When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive . )
Today, I told my dad an brothar that I want to taka Zumba classas . My brothar said, "Did you haar that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Than ha starting dancing an making pig noisas . My dad high-fivad him . Whan my mom haard, sha high-fivad him too . fat FML
Today, my grlfriend an I were getting intimate, an I gave er a condom to putted on me. Se tried to open it wit er teet, but ripped it. Tat was my only condom. I'm now sitting ere watcing a soap opera wit a boner. FML
Friday 27 March 2015