Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kdm_km1

Offline (the 02/24/2015 at 6:29am) | Search for a member

kdm_km1

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3158
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kdm_km1 : I'm awesome. Just ask me.

kdm_km1's page activity

Visits<b>Sunflower1919</b> - 12 hours ago<b>keshialaisina</b> - yesterday at 9:32am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:33pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:56pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:42pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:11pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:55am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:18am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 3:42am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 9:29am<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:07pm<b>TheWiseWolf</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:02pm<b>karlye1029</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 1:27am<b>beans5757</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:00am<b>Hodge69</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:02am<b>random_times1</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:50am<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>jezca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:29am

Liked!<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:34pm

kdm_km1's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of kdm_km1's badges

kdm_km1's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (11238)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33171) - you deserved it (2863)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (2642)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

#17447150
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (28055)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:14am - intimacy - by fml - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43613) - you deserved it (14540)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (35857)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35901) - you deserved it (6565)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (6878)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46873) - you deserved it (11978)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

#16466098
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (2679)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

#16259164
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (6229)

On 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by rileycrash (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42392) - you deserved it (3531)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (10440)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61119) - you deserved it (4759)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

#16114978
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38777) - you deserved it (11411)

On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: