kdm_km1

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Offline (the 06/09/2016 at 1:46am)

kdm_km1

15Fucked!

kdm_km1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 December 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5015
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kdm_km1 : I try to make each day as I intresting as I can, but work makes that hard sometimes. That said, I spend my free time playing sports, hunting/fishing, and hanging out with friends. Anything else you want to know just ask 😊

kdm_km1's page activity

Visits<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 5:15pm<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:12pm<b>grifmelo</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 4:29pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 3:14am<b>madissin</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 1:39am<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:18pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:57am<b>Jude64</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:41am<b>Jennaaay</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:53am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:20pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:02pm<b>dcs00</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:40pm<b>nyf137</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:11pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:10am<b>charmingdisaster</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:57pm<b>idefka</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 11:13pm<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:15pm

Fucked!<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:14pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:20pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:18am<b>dcs00</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:40pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:09am<b>js_0508</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 9:30am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 3:19am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 6:44pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:11pm<b>asantos4</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:36am<b>_jessiepoohe_</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:57am<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:52am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:34pm

kdm_km1's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of kdm_km1's badges

kdm_km1's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

by LOTRfail / 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

by divorce? i think so / 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

by idontgetit / 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

by dating a manchild / 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

by me / 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 6:32am / United States / Health

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 1:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

by Wow / 03/13/2012 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy