Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kdm_km1

Online | Search for a member

kdm_km1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 December 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2069
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kdm_km1 : I'm awesome. Just ask me.

kdm_km1's page activity

Visits<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:22pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:41am<b>facelick</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:40pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:31am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 6:28am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:21am<b>madellen</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Josiiee</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:38am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:06pm<b>Shiffy_Em</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:45pm<b>rimosah</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:52pm<b>rafaelc334</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:06am<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 6:48am<b>JustClaire95</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 5:13pm<b>mbonzo35</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:52am<b>tyoung94</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:01pm

kdm_km1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kdm_km1's badges

kdm_km1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18587) - you deserved it (8148)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

#20034633
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (5197)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by m (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

#20034633
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (5197)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by m (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

#20032910
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (2817)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

#20026176
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (6152)

On 08/17/2012 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (2681)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14761) - you deserved it (38422)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (1386)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (2361)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (3420)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (12375)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (2736)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42850) - you deserved it (3920)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10692) - you deserved it (26509)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

#19717228
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (6545)

On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: