About kdm_km1 : I try to make each day as I intresting as I can, but work makes that hard sometimes. That said, I spend my free time playing sports, hunting/fishing, and hanging out with friends. Anything else you want to know just ask 😊
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kdm_km1's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML
by carla6991 / 10/09/2013 at 4:16pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Agax / 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML
by no life to fuck :/ / 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 5:58pm / Mexico / Health
by NotInterested / 08/23/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by -_____- / 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Intimacy
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML
by ilivehere / 07/17/2013 at 10:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML
by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy
by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
by part time all the time / 06/23/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…