kdm_km1

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Offline (the 12/01/2016 at 5:42am)

kdm_km1

16Fucked!

kdm_km1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 December 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5727
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kdm_km1 : I try to make each day as I intresting as I can, but work makes that hard sometimes. That said, I spend my free time playing sports, hunting/fishing, and hanging out with friends. Anything else you want to know just ask 😊

kdm_km1's page activity

Visits<b>mermaidkeels</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 6:05pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:50pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:44am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 5:15pm<b>grifmelo</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 4:29pm<b>madissin</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 1:39am<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Jude64</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:41am<b>Jennaaay</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:53am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:20pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:02pm<b>dcs00</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:40pm<b>nyf137</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:11pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:10am<b>charmingdisaster</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:57pm<b>idefka</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 11:13pm<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:15pm

Fucked!<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 7:26pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:14pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:18am<b>dcs00</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:40pm<b>js_0508</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 9:30am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 3:19am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 6:44pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:11pm<b>asantos4</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:36am<b>_jessiepoohe_</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:57am<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:52am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:34pm

kdm_km1's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of kdm_km1's badges

kdm_km1's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

by gymgirl / 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

by ANONYMOUS -_- / 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

by NOKHAN / 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

by Wheredigowrong / 10/21/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Kids