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kdm_km1

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kdm_km1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2651
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kdm_km1 : I'm awesome. Just ask me.

kdm_km1's page activity

Visits<b>Hodge69</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:02am<b>random_times1</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:50am<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>jezca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:29am<b>Ash_Ash918</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:17pm<b>yerawizardlizzy</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:47pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:58am<b>Same_Heart</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:02am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:06am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:29pm<b>ksadhera</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:28pm<b>cutieepieemariee</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:40pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 7:31pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 7:17pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:29pm<b>monkey1501</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:59pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:34pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 1:42pm

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kdm_km1's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35133) - you deserved it (3042)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49171) - you deserved it (9121)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50659) - you deserved it (8023)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46631) - you deserved it (5138)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48557) - you deserved it (8066)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (5203)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44345) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53442) - you deserved it (7793)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45833) - you deserved it (12429)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53231) - you deserved it (9108)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42536) - you deserved it (6730)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40819) - you deserved it (5016)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (39082)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41588) - you deserved it (3598)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)



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