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kdm_km1

Offline (the 02/16/2015 at 1:26am) | Search for a member

kdm_km1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3067
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kdm_km1 : I'm awesome. Just ask me.

kdm_km1's page activity

Visits<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:42pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:11pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:55am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:18am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 3:42am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 9:29am<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:07pm<b>TheWiseWolf</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:02pm<b>karlye1029</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 1:27am<b>beans5757</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:00am<b>Hodge69</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:02am<b>random_times1</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:50am<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:21am<b>jezca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:29am<b>Ash_Ash918</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:17pm<b>yerawizardlizzy</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:47pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:58am

kdm_km1's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of kdm_km1's badges

kdm_km1's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML

#10991585
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (3843)

On 06/05/2010 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by SlickMcK - United States (New York)

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

#9913301
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41630) - you deserved it (20571)

On 04/16/2010 at 12:03am - intimacy - by shmelly - United States

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18938) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (4279)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (4516)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30833) - you deserved it (4383)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

#7406079
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9276) - you deserved it (17933)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by misshb (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

#6508177
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35035) - you deserved it (9073)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by ? - United States

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

#6086009
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43806) - you deserved it (6110)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML

#5715718
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (7369)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52934) - you deserved it (8848)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116946) - you deserved it (8818)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (53612)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61330) - you deserved it (13787)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84587) - you deserved it (31566)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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