About kdm_km1 : I try to make each day as I intresting as I can, but work makes that hard sometimes. That said, I spend my free time playing sports, hunting/fishing, and hanging out with friends. Anything else you want to know just ask 😊
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kdm_km1's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/12/2014 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy
by derped-out sperm / 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Ireland / Kids
by kenzamee / 03/04/2014 at 9:39am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy
Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML
by peepeepainter / 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by fuckmuppeter512 / 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by notakeeper / 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Snufflopagus / 01/01/2014 at 8:26am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
by bastard / 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…