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kdm_km1

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kdm_km1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 December 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2476
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kdm_km1 : I'm awesome. Just ask me.

kdm_km1's page activity

Visits<b>catherine012</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 7:50am<b>c1793Sc006y</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:56pm<b>SMUTflakes</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:37pm<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:22pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:41am<b>facelick</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:40pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:31am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 6:28am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:21am<b>madellen</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Josiiee</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:38am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:06pm<b>Shiffy_Em</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:45pm<b>rimosah</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:52pm<b>rafaelc334</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:06am<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 6:48am

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kdm_km1's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40601) - you deserved it (6341)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (4339)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38236) - you deserved it (3339)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34164) - you deserved it (5686)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48258) - you deserved it (5578)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37419) - you deserved it (2739)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42713) - you deserved it (6215)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46687) - you deserved it (5600)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63770) - you deserved it (8102)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53923) - you deserved it (13392)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50530) - you deserved it (7444)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44131) - you deserved it (5390)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50714) - you deserved it (5475)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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