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kdm_km1

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kdm_km1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 December 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1826
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kdm_km1 : I'm awesome. Just ask me.

kdm_km1's page activity

Visits<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 6:28am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:21am<b>madellen</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:19pm<b>Josiiee</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:38am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:06pm<b>Shiffy_Em</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:45pm<b>rimosah</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:52pm<b>rafaelc334</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:06am<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 6:48am<b>JustClaire95</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 5:13pm<b>mbonzo35</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:52am<b>tyoung94</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:01pm<b>aminasalah</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:40pm<b>marinaim</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 9:30am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:43pm<b>626boy</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:32pm

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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kdm_km1's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (2379)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (6152)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46514) - you deserved it (5580)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63444) - you deserved it (8077)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52151) - you deserved it (12891)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48588) - you deserved it (7158)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43989) - you deserved it (5381)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49819) - you deserved it (5381)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42563) - you deserved it (10947)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41332) - you deserved it (12481)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55707) - you deserved it (8963)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48006) - you deserved it (7499)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38644) - you deserved it (7360)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)



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