kdm_km1

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Offline (the 04/19/2016 at 12:58am)

kdm_km1

15Fucked!

kdm_km1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 December 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4710
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kdm_km1 : I try to make each day as I intresting as I can, but work makes that hard sometimes. That said, I spend my free time playing sports, hunting/fishing, and hanging out with friends. Anything else you want to know just ask 😊

kdm_km1's page activity

Visits<b>acevango</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:47pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 5:15pm<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:12pm<b>grifmelo</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 4:29pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 3:14am<b>madissin</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 1:39am<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:18pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:57am<b>Jude64</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:41am<b>Jennaaay</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:53am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:20pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:02pm<b>dcs00</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:40pm<b>nyf137</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:11pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:10am<b>charmingdisaster</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:57pm<b>idefka</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 11:13pm

Fucked!<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:14pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:20pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:18am<b>dcs00</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:40pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:09am<b>js_0508</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 9:30am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 3:19am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 6:44pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:11pm<b>asantos4</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:36am<b>_jessiepoohe_</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:57am<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:52am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:34pm

kdm_km1's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of kdm_km1's badges

kdm_km1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

by stillhungry / 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

by dating a moron / 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

by ugh thanks / 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

by confusing / 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm / Zimbabwe / Work

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy