kdgsmiley

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kdgsmiley

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3146
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kdgsmiley's page activity

Visits<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 7:38pm<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 7:42pm<b>brb223</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:29pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 6:23am<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:42pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 12:23pm<b>ETwilleatyou</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 11:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 6:58am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 2:28am<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:03am<b>megahan</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 5:19pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:48pm<b>ekrie24</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:35pm<b>tiredofit58</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 1:18pm<b>xzanex</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 1:16pm<b>fmlrightnowww</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:31am<b>Brightbulb</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:55am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:34am

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 1:38am<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 1:42am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 6:23pm<b>xzanex</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 7:17pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:42pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Chelserser</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:02am

kdgsmiley's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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kdgsmiley's favorite FMLs

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

by buttpain / 12/01/2016 at 1:29pm / Kids

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

by StarDust5921 / 10/03/2016 at 9:55pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML

by Krystl / 09/18/2016 at 12:35pm / Australia / Work

Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML

by looser / 08/09/2016 at 8:48pm / Work

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

by captainuniverse / 05/14/2016 at 1:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, while waiting in line with my 4-year-old son, I had to awkwardly apologize to an African-American gentleman and explain to my son that the man was not made out of chocolate. FML

by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my boss asked me if I needed to stand in the corner while I thought about what I did wrong. FML

by NurseGabby / 02/24/2016 at 2:26pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was so sleep deprived that while making instant oatmeal, I poured the oats into the garbage and put the empty packet in a bowl, then microwaved it for 2 minutes. FML

by Agamar / 02/23/2016 at 12:00am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

by concernedsis / 02/04/2016 at 9:53am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

by lolmyfduplife / 12/24/2015 at 1:10am / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same distance for everything. He thought that human miles were different than mouse miles, because they're smaller. He's 34. FML

by MiceMiles / 12/10/2015 at 7:34am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

by Anonymousse / 11/13/2015 at 7:34am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

by Quendolin / 11/09/2015 at 9:07am / Germany / Miscellaneous