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kbear2896's favorite FMLs
by InNeedOfFriends / 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
by Me / 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (California) / Kids
by drama king? / 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by lonelygirl / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by ziggers10 / 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm / United States / Love
by guy / 03/15/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/09/2013 at 2:02am / Israel / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 12:01am / Canada / Money
by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Ashley / 12/02/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Bliggins / 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was on my way home from a long night shift, exhausted beyond belief. While walking down my… Today, I was mugged by a homeless lady who was eating a pudding cup with a spoon. At one point she… Today, my SO started to lecture me on how caffeine is bad for the baby. I breastfeed our daughter.…