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kaywalovestoflip's favorite FMLs
Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML
by jenabp / 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
by NeverDrinkingAgain / 12/09/2010 at 7:31am / Canada / Intimacy
by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2010 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML
by TattedAsian / 01/11/2010 at 2:28am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML
by Gassy / 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML
by dayum / 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm / Mexico (Chihuahua) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 11:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked. Then said "You know he can't swim right?" FML
by babydoll13211 / 09/04/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals
- Today, my boyfriend of three months told me he's going to get tested for STDs, because he's worried… Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In… Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2…