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kaywalovestoflip

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kaywalovestoflip

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 380
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kaywalovestoflip's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29400) - you deserved it (8231)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (4127)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (5180)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85039) - you deserved it (13051)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML

#17718779
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (3618)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:15am - health - by bob - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (4389)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (5642)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

#17531478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26409) - you deserved it (2140)

On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

#17429478
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (5332)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - animals - by Ser17 - United States

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

#17373083
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26012) - you deserved it (11696)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you deserved it (7256)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9715) - you deserved it (72061)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

#17364695
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7951) - you deserved it (44255)

On 08/04/2011 at 6:19am - kids - by Bobsaget00 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32490) - you deserved it (11409)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43961) - you deserved it (2960)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)



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