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kaywalovestoflip

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kaywalovestoflip

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 535
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kaywalovestoflip's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML

#18316654
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41254) - you deserved it (7631)

On 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm - health - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34326) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29068) - you deserved it (3746)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

#18254256
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26110) - you deserved it (15478)

On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

#18253335
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31595) - you deserved it (2934)

On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

#18244771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23400) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:23am - misc - by jocksblow - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30885) - you deserved it (4171)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

#18198042
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (2314)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

#18162360
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29726) - you deserved it (9977) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/05/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Lavalise - France

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62464) - you deserved it (4623)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47206) - you deserved it (5393)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (4906)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

#18072283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (2809)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm - kids - by mew - Canada

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37122) - you deserved it (3186)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (2792)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)



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