Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kaytlenmarie

Search for a member

kaytlenmarie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kaytlenmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of kaytlenmarie's badges

kaytlenmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36365) - you deserved it (12276)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54374) - you deserved it (3409)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47970) - you deserved it (23077)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47970) - you deserved it (23077)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58953) - you deserved it (10542)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44278) - you deserved it (32397) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (2637)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (4308)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (15113)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (31492)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, scarcely having time to look at myself, I quickly got dressed and went to work. Only when I got there and saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror did I notice that the colour and detail of my black lacy bra could easily be seen. I work for a construction company. Full of men. FML

#14882987
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11995) - you deserved it (28473)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML

#10521391
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (4666)

On 05/14/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by superhero1043 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51114) - you deserved it (10729)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

#956665
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (63394)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (9817)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: