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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
Friday 22 May 2015