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kayrystal123's favorite FMLs
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
by boner / 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by anonyme / 06/20/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…