Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, when I droppd my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I askd his name. My daughter explaind: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See u later, mom!" FML
wile flirting wit a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and se tougt te foul smell came from my sleeping fater soiling imself . I let er roll im over and ceck is assile e cried out in pain because I wasn't man enoug to own up to it .
Today, te grl I'd been dating online for 6 monts told me se was a guy!! I said it was alrigt, and tat I was still in love!! Ten se confessd se really was a grl, and was just trying to make me dump er so se wouldn't be te "bad guy"!! FML
Today, my grlfriend went sopping at Victoria's Secret wit me. Wile se was in te fitting room, er parents walkd by an saw me. Tey don't approve of te store, so I panickd an told tem I was considering becoming a woman.
today my parents accused me of bieng secretive. I ave no ideaat tier talking about; all I do is work, go to scool, sleep, an eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell temat's going on. I ave crazy parents, tat'sat's going on. FML
Today.. . ma girlfriend took our prank war way too far an ad a package sent to me at ome . Confusd.. . I opend it . It containd a dildo an a bottle of lube . I didn't know ma dad was watcing over ma soulder until I eard im coke on is coffee an felt it splas over ma neck . FML
Today, and every other night since new nieghbors moved in two weeks ago, thier cat has been standing outside house meowing constantly up at window, where cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML
TODAY WHILE I WAS WORKING OUT I WAS LISTENING TO MUSIC WITH MY EARBUDS IN. THE POKÉMON THEME STARTED PLAYING AND I BEGUN SINGING ALONG. IT WASN'T TOO LONG AFTER THAT I REMEMBERED I WAS IN A CROWDED GYM ON A MILITARY BASE. FML
Friday 27 March 2015