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About kayPandastyle : im kai, im older than you think. skating, shit talking, flirting, dancing badly and random drunk shenanigans. i hate when my bread gets soggy. i like fuzzy slippers and horror movies. im a ZELDA freak!! i enjoy laughing at ppl PM if your interesting ;P
Beginner
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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9107) - you deserved it (465)
On 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Ouchies - United States (Colorado)
Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12171) - you deserved it (1039)
On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33277) - you deserved it (2191)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8433) - you deserved it (25959)
On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13846) - you deserved it (24006)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12238) - you deserved it (3031)
On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5436) - you deserved it (22775)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (5391)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26537) - you deserved it (3114)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7226) - you deserved it (32665)
On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version
Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5356) - you deserved it (31700)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6076) - you deserved it (26877)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10115) - you deserved it (21883)
On 11/25/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by TinyDancer22 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (9517)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)
Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21464) - you deserved it (1638)
On 11/23/2009 at 2:31am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
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