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kay729's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:06am / Kazakhstan (Almaty) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
by dumb / 08/03/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Kristina / 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I’m in Rome for Halloween. I went out with few friends and spent the night with a man. The…