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kay729's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:06am / Kazakhstan (Almaty) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
by dumb / 08/03/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Kristina / 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone… Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal".… Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he played with and named my boobs. Complete with a full…