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kavemann

Offline (the 04/01/2014 at 8:24pm) | Search for a member

kavemann

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  • Number of visits : 177
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kavemann's page activity

Visits<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:46pm

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kavemann's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41339) - you deserved it (6923)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44605) - you deserved it (15930)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54092) - you deserved it (7672)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54511) - you deserved it (4310)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48892) - you deserved it (6050)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (50525)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (51446)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (46051)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37431) - you deserved it (19869)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46892) - you deserved it (17847)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37845) - you deserved it (3201)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43366) - you deserved it (3142)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54951) - you deserved it (7761)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51858) - you deserved it (4690)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)



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