Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kattylizbeth

Search for a member

kattylizbeth

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 880
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kattylizbeth : i'm 15, but i'm about 5 at heart.

kattylizbeth's page activity

Visits<b>Queensland</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:38pm<b>ElNeqriito</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:58pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:36am<b>TheComedyAudio</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:50am<b>RvBCaboose</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:01am<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:33pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:33pm<b>martini47</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:42pm<b>tangerine06</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:58am<b>Bass_Predator</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:13am<b>tailyerd</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 3:36pm<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:52pm<b>VengeanceChicken</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:33pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 4:56pm<b>anywhereanytime</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:02pm<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 3:24pm<b>nixx92</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 1:28am<b>Ley135</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:46pm

kattylizbeth's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of kattylizbeth's badges

kattylizbeth's favorite FMLs

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML

#20172167
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8852) - you deserved it (66778)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML

#20171052
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10940) - you deserved it (26328)

On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21604) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17891) - you deserved it (6880)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (3481)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20886) - you deserved it (2780)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18317) - you deserved it (2538)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (8232)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (2994)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47315) - you deserved it (6011)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (3759)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7003) - you deserved it (29072)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (1951)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22229) - you deserved it (4638)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: