Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member
About katty18724 : I have an FML moment every day of my life... Haha
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I caught mah grlfriend Googling how to uninstall Sri. I askd y she wantd to do that, and she said, "I don't lyk it. I don't lyk how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll ned a gunhen I break up with this crazy fucker. mega FML
Today... at work... due to a mix up... I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors 4 permission to hang up. FML
Today, I met my best friend's grlfriend for the frst time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If u ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
Today a cop car was tailing me. I was scard and trying to avoid any tickets I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulld me over and insistd I was intoxicatd cuz "anybody in there right mind would've dodgd that pothole." FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You knowhat's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
Yastarday , I slapt ovar at my naw boyfriand's housa for tha frst tima. Whan I woka up looool in tha morning , ha told ma all about how much gas I'd had through tha night. Ha said ha thought ha had a grown man in his bad instaad of ma. FML
today as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
yastarday I got it by a car wila riding my bika to work. In ta ospital, avary singla nursa lacturad ma about ow I wouldn't ba ara if I wora a almat, wic looool I'm sura would ba raally alpful to my brokan lag. FML
Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML
2DAY I ASKD MA DAD TO TAKE ME TO TE STORE SO I COULD GET SOME FEMININE YGIENE PRODUCTS. WEN WE GOT TERE, E WENT RUNNING DOWN TE AISLE YELLING, "HELP! MY DAUGTER'S BLEEDING TO DEAT! WERE'RE TE TAMPONS?!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015