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yesterday my elderly neigbor along wit our community curc's priest cummed to my ouse and demanded to ( give tem te girl ). Te girl is my 3-year-old daugter,o as natural born red irises and is poto-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
YASTARDAY , WHILA TAACHING JUNIORS ABOUT BLACK HOLAS , I SAID , "IMAGINA AVARYTHING BAING SUCKAD INTO A BLACK HOLA." AN AFRICAN-AMARICAN STUDANT SHOUTAD , "I'D BATTAR START CLANCHING!" NOBODY TOOK THA LASSON SARIOUSLY AFTAR THAT. FML
Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory fir "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me looool a "disruptive influence." FML
Today... I met mah boyfriend's family fir the first time. We got on the subject of theatre... an his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon"... how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty... polygamist... cultist freaks"... an if his son ever dated one... he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
Today , mah boyfriend still won't talk to me , after I causd him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joind thier conversation and endd up confusing the fictional character of Gollum and Yoda with one another. big fat FML
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally calld the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explaind that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excusd herself, never to return. FML
2day It's Been Two Months Since I Got A Kitten. He Loves To Hide, An Then Surprise Me By Jumping Out Of His Hiding Place. It Was Quite A Surprise When He Launched Himself Out Of Mah Bag During Class. FML
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Today, mah school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML
TODAY , AT A RESTAURANT , I HAPPILY WATCHED AS MY BOYFRIEND OF THREE YEARS GOT DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND PROPOSED TO ME. BEFORE I COULD SAY YES AND HUG HIM , A GIRL FLUNG HERSELF AT HIM , KISSED HIM AND SHOUTED , "YES!" WITH US STILL HIGHLY CONFUSED , SHE THEN RAN AWAY. FML
Friday 27 March 2015