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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11433) - you deserved it (28992)
On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I brought my boyfriend home to my parents' house. My mom said that he had a powerful name. When he asked what she meant by that, she said she thinks my boyfriend would be good in bed. Why had I brought my boyfriend home? To tell my parents we were engaged. We're not anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (2500)
On 03/17/2010 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7857) - you deserved it (17342)
On 03/17/2010 at 8:48am - intimacy - by Bushfan101 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (2957)
On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (1659)
On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (6657)
On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8569) - you deserved it (17000)
On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States
Today, I was talking to an ex who I still love. He told me how much he wanted to see me, how much he missed me, and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house. I mentioned Saturday, and he said, "I can't, I have to take my fiancée to the doctor's to find out our baby's sex." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21858) - you deserved it (5498)
On 03/09/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by littlemissgullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14261) - you deserved it (4028)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by ohshit (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8788) - you deserved it (15610)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15206) - you deserved it (26050)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (3339)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jess (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20962) - you deserved it (4523)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30705) - you deserved it (1992)
On 03/07/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by notamathematician (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17298) - you deserved it (2913)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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