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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today... I decidd it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minute he startd going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a wierd sound so I startd laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today... I was at my boyfriend's house... when I needed the loo. The door was ajar... so I walked into his bathroom... sat down... an started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, when I went to see a movie with mah best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques . I texted mah boyfriend about how gross the conversation was . His reply was "Pay attention . You might leren something." real FML
Today I was talking to an ex who I still love . He told me how much he wanted to see me how much he missed me and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house . I mentioned Saturday and he said ( I can't I have to take mah fiancée to looool the doctor's to fine out our baby's sex . ) FML
Today, mah fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the looool rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, I told mah mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy!! Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock!! Nice math mom!! I've been married fir 5 months!! FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor wit a massive angover after er party last nigt. My friend, wo was next to me, barfed all over me. Se ten told me tat wile I was drunk last nigt, I made out wit er dog as well as two of our oter friend's boyfriends. FML
Friday 27 March 2015