This member hasn't filled in the description.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21656) - you deserved it (1543)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (1821)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (1428)
On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14588) - you deserved it (4955)
On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19370) - you deserved it (2124)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19881) - you deserved it (2405)
On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16522) - you deserved it (1454)
On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (885)
On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10678) - you deserved it (3359)
On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (1612)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19178) - you deserved it (1201)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (1193)
On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11129) - you deserved it (19301)
On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States
Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11781) - you deserved it (3264)
On 09/24/2012 at 8:52pm - work - by MLAA (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12697) - you deserved it (12697)
On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
