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Today hile using a public toilet a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal !! The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands !! FML
Today, at work, I putted on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, I realizd that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I usd the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognizd the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of mah colleague think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, in the middle of a boring class, mah friend offerd me some Smarties!! We're not allowd to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway!! As I puttd them in mah mouth, mah "friend" stood up an yelld that I was doing ecstasy!! I might actually get expelld!! FML
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge fir my mom. The moment looool I stepped out, my foot settled on the nieghbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. mega FML
Yesterday , a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people , "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd lyk to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML
Friday 27 March 2015