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katherinebby17's FML badges
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katherinebby17's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out I wasn't invited to my neighbor's funeral, with whom I had been good friends with for a long time. When I asked her husband why, he said, "We have a small amount of money and can't afford for you to eat all of the refreshments." FML
by DUFF / 06/11/2015 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love
by terrified / 06/07/2015 at 11:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML
by mobigomo / 05/27/2015 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health
by DENTALITY / 05/23/2015 at 7:06am / Norway / Kids
by Strainer / 05/23/2015 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
by Kurda / 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by zzarzzur / 05/22/2015 at 2:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by FrickingBusDrivers / 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML
by stilljobless / 05/20/2015 at 10:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by smellynelly / 05/17/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (New York) / Work
by yif2 / 05/16/2015 at 7:47am / United States / Animals
Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML
by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML
by alekoi / 05/13/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my five year old daughter asked me why I wipe with sticks. I was very confused, so she then… Today, my cousin was using my iPad. He "accidentally dropped" it out the window 3 stories up. It's… Today, after tossing and turning for hours trying to sleep, I finally doze off. I am then awoken by…