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katherinebby17's FML badges
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katherinebby17's favorite FMLs
Today, while reading my girlfriends kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm / United States / Kids
by piercednipple / 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML
by Anonymous / 06/28/2015 at 11:00am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my boss confided in me that when a gay person visits his house, he discreetly follows them around and cleans anything they touched and everywhere they sat with disinfectant wipes. I've worked for him for 7 years but he doesn't know I'm gay. FML
by protoskore / 06/23/2015 at 2:38pm / Israel / Work
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health
by rabbitkiller / 06/20/2015 at 6:42am / China (Nei Mongol) / Animals
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm / United States / Animals
by HttpsHaileyy / 06/15/2015 at 4:02pm / United States / Kids
Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML
by KingFML1 / 06/14/2015 at 1:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by lulumars / 06/14/2015 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by sadbuttru95 / 06/13/2015 at 5:20pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Animals
Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML
by silverspud / 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 1:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML
by Bigbaby / 06/11/2015 at 6:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal… Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we… Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched…