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katherinebby17's favorite FMLs
by fire starter / 08/16/2015 at 12:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML
by someboody / 08/15/2015 at 12:50pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
by bruised / 08/15/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 11:20am / United States / Animals
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
by Wellthisishawkward / 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
by stressedmom36 / 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I took the lid off my slow cooker to serve up a casserole that had been 12 hours in the making. A cockroach took the opportunity to dive in. My husband and I are now eating toast, while the delicious smell of casserole taunts us from the trash. FML
by MsMedea / 08/11/2015 at 8:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Money
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
by Stinky and Single / 08/06/2015 at 7:14pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 2:13am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
- Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide… Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then… Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This…