karwank

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/06/2015 at 10:11pm)

karwank

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 April 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 448
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

karwank's page activity

Visits<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 12:58am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:01am<b>Marshmallowjello</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 7:12am<b>jad3ari3l</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 7:48am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:06am<b>pugpuggy</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:44am<b>RavhiKaria</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:53pm<b>tommylover842</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:15am<b>BigSm3lly</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:50pm<b>pinkpower</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:18pm<b>LoverWordsFood</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:02pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:35pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:03am<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:15am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:25pm<b>Sunflower1919</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:47am<b>SHAMUS_the_WITTY</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:02pm<b>counrty2014</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:19am

Fucked!<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:58am

karwank's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of karwank's badges

karwank's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Health

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

by Annakins / 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrives. As we were going at it, he shits on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML

by jo / 02/20/2010 at 5:47am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

by christinabear / 04/15/2009 at 1:14am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

by Hotsauce887 / 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

by SalonGirl / 03/10/2009 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Work