music is life bitch.
ima kill you if you mess with my friends >:O
if you say dumbass really slow it sounds like gulliable xD
we all know you fell for that one^
love fuckin hurts ♥
lets fuck-
ing talk.
lol.
Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49869) - you totally deserved it (6413)
On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML
I agree, your life sucks (53211) - you totally deserved it (24641)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - kids - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9403) - you totally deserved it (35621)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" and then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9884) - you totally deserved it (61835)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - misc - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48977) - you totally deserved it (4691)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74515) - you totally deserved it (2290)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23511) - you totally deserved it (41261)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and proceeded to blow on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50828) - you totally deserved it (12764)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend, while a beautiful girl was looking at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want my girl to be upset, so I escaped to the bar. Later, I saw this girl kissing my girlfriend... Maybe I wasn't the one that she was looking at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you totally deserved it (3492)
On 11/03/2008 at 11:16pm - love - by clubber - Switzerland (Fribourg)
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