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kaplan_reject

Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 7:21pm) | Search for a member

kaplan_reject

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  • Number of visits : 900
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kaplan_reject's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 3:13pm

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kaplan_reject's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML

#7638250
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12514) - you deserved it (34885)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:08am - misc - by tattooooooface - United States

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

#7396511
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (2386)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83960) - you deserved it (4753)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (6924)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (11848)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (5033)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

#6590388
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47364) - you deserved it (2016)

On 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

#5913755
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44365) - you deserved it (4119)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

#5873619
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39719) - you deserved it (1909)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:06am - work - by booste (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177129) - you deserved it (18077)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45041) - you deserved it (3502)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

#4751851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30629) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML

#4165999
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41912) - you deserved it (26544)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by yeahthatsme (woman) - United States (Kentucky) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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