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kaosps2

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kaosps2
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  • Number of visits : 561
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kaosps2's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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kaosps2's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (29327)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

#19671113
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (5895)

On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19167) - you deserved it (6383)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

#19644277
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24366) - you deserved it (5687)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19602) - you deserved it (4281)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18824) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (4463)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11946) - you deserved it (160194)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML

#19581290
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (3522)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Damn (woman) - Australia

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7584) - you deserved it (18273)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we need to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

#19457923
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7723) - you deserved it (22971)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:02pm - misc - by marymark - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

#19457706
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you deserved it (5630)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by hatemyboss - United States (California)

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

#19447542
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14880) - you deserved it (17761)

On 04/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by vanessax (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (4749)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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