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kaomi123

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kaomi123

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  • Number of visits : 383
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kaomi123's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 11:59am

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kaomi123's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56444) - you deserved it (17947)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47294) - you deserved it (4878)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36844) - you deserved it (2157)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54742) - you deserved it (14389)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

#20533543
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38507) - you deserved it (2333)

On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

#20531170
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50765) - you deserved it (6068)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (34453)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

#20004599
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (4500)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (1593)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML

#20001682
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (19121)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by alyssabree42 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

#19998761
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (2694)

On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13832) - you deserved it (37092)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35711) - you deserved it (5823)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

#19742192
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (2453)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:23am - health - by 635CSi (woman) - United States (California)



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