kandi_kid69

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kandi_kid69

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 951
  • Number of comments : 217
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About kandi_kid69 : Oh how I hate my username.

kandi_kid69's page activity

Visits<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 10:44am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:49am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:11pm<b>hai111</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:52am<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:12pm<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:49pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:58pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:50pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:32am<b>Khivt</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:11am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:46am<b>auro7</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 7:12pm<b>Chorizo606</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:33pm<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 1:04am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:01pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 5:58pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:08am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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kandi_kid69's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML

by burning balls of fuck this / 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

by sucks at sucking / 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Intimacy

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

by ConstructionLady / 11/13/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

by Lisa / 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

by smashed / 09/24/2012 at 10:33am / United States / Kids

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

by romainmain / 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Animals

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

by gemma / 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

by Emma / 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Health