Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kamikazziphantom

Search for a member

kamikazziphantom
  • Town/Country : A City, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 November 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 568
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About kamikazziphantom : I always go on this site and read the "About Me's" when I'm bored, and get really disappointed when somebody either doesn't have one, or has a short one. So, dear sweet About Me reader, I shall not disappoint.
My name is Charley, like a boy only not because I'm a girl. (I use that line often, and with vigor. I think I'm clever.) I have tattoos and scars, and I'm proud of all of them. I like a lot of alternative-rock, indie, electroswing, and electronica music, to name a few. I'm a Psychology major (but of course,) but not a very good student. I love people and what makes us unique...and am generally very accepting, but every now and then I come across somebody who makes me face palm with so much force my mom asks me if I'm being bullied. I'm extremely friendly and would love to message one of you, but I'm on my iPhone. :( But if you want, drop me a line. I check FML on my computer every now and again.
AND THAT, MY DEAR FELLOW STALKER, IS MY ABOUT ME.

kamikazziphantom's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of kamikazziphantom's badges

kamikazziphantom's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

#8623165
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (2886)

On 02/24/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by Jill - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a Jack's Mannequin concert. I'd asked this girl I'm interested in to come with me, and she insisted that she had to bring her two year old son with us. I'd told her it was no problem. Ten minutes into it, she said we needed to leave because it was too loud for him. FML

#8410012
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17775) - you deserved it (8376)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by tyler - United States

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17980) - you deserved it (3960)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my brother's home for his annual visit, lectures my parents once about their eating habits. They promptly throw away all of their junk food. I'm there every Sunday, and have been telling them to eat healthier for medical reasons. They never listen. He's in sales, and I'm in med school. FML

#8195663
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (2393)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

#8047035
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20863) - you deserved it (6353)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:26am - health - by mynameislor - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35532) - you deserved it (1562)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

#7927538
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (4141)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:17am - misc - by Oops (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

#7900233
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8235) - you deserved it (50678)

On 02/05/2010 at 5:35am - love - by hickey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

#7898560
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9520) - you deserved it (28367)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:33am - health - by Holly - United States

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

#7729865
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20208) - you deserved it (3061)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:38am - health - by lilsis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15592) - you deserved it (39860)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

#7521892
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9358) - you deserved it (31399)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:47pm - health - by notaguidette (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16081) - you deserved it (4105)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

#7336646
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (4224)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by Nosexytime - United States

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

#7256679
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39556) - you deserved it (2742)

On 01/10/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: